Listen up

Today is already a crappy day and you customers sure know how to ice the dam cake. I'm trying to bag this couples food when their kid starts spinning to bags. He says he's helping but stuff is now falling off the thing and I can't get anymore in bags. I had enough by this point and was literally tossing items at bags. "That one missed, so did that one, oh look one actually made it". Not once did they try to stop this kid. I gave up.

And for people talking shit about my boyfriend to my face...did you really think that would fly? The world has gone mad...people are insanely stupid.

To Bag or Not To Bag

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog, but yet again I found inspiration today I could not ignore. I find it quite amusing to ask a simple question everyday at work, “did you want your milk in a bag?” Now there are plenty of people who answer quick enough “yup” or “nope”. These people don’t make this question amusing. The following people do however…

1. The Thinker: This is the person who looks as if you just asked them what the meaning of life is. It is almost unbearable to watch the distortion on their faces. You can literally see them thinking it through. Looks rather painful if you ask me, I just want an answer already. Move it along Einstein.
2. It’s Up To You: This person has just had it with making their own decisions in life. They want you to figure it out and just do it how you see fit. However, this doesn’t lead to much fun. I usually reply with, “Well it really is up to you, did you want it bagged or no?”. This often leads back to number one on the list : )
3. The Absurd: I do not know why some people are this passionate about the question, yet here they are. I ask and they reply as if I asked them whether or not they want me to defecate on their front lawn. “No bag, its got a handle for a reason!”. The look on their face says they are appalled I asked such a question. These people must be mental in some way. Bipolar, yeah that’s it.
4. Bomb Squad: Now you ask a question and they answer (or try to answer) as if they have 20 seconds to defuse a bomb blindfolded while do cartwheels. They either go back and forth, “Yes a bag in case it leaks, well no I don’t want more bags, but the car is messy and don’t need it on the milk, but the bag will rip anyway, but it will make it easier to carry...”etc. It’s like they are arguing with themselves all while looking panicked to give me an answer in time. These have to be one of my favorite.
5. The Rationalists: These people can give me an answer quick enough and stick to it, but they feel the need to inform me as to why it should be that way…for all milks apparently. “No bag for me, it has a handle and that is why it was put there…”etc. “Yes a bag so it won’t leak and is easier to carry…”etc. They then continue the rest of the order informing me of proper milk bagging or lack there of. These people seem obsessive…the most annoying I think.

it's been a while...

...where should I begin. Waiting for things to go back to normal. For the past 3 weeks it feels like my life has been turned upside down. I don't even feel like me anymore. Part of me likes this and thinks it's a good thing. I can finally relax and be me. No pretending or trying to be perfect in the eyes of others. I am who I am, and I do, well, what I do. Simple as that. Now I'm not saying I've been going wild, getting plastered, and swinging from chandeliers. I'm just saying I can act as I normally would without giving thought to others judging me. This has made me quite happy. On the other hand, some people have not liked this. They say I've changed or do not take them into consideration. Sorry to say this is just me coming out to play for a bit. By the end of the week things will go back to normal and once again I will be shut away. For how long, who knows...

who? what? where? how? why?

In the past week or so, some stuff has been happening. I have lost friends, hurt those close to me, in debt beyond belief, angry/crying, and somehow with all this happening I find myself staying with friends. I may not have moved in, but I have been here 2 nights now. I have been hanging here almost everyday. I find it odd at times, thinking at any minute they will turn. Not that I think bad of them, just that after so much shit I figure the usual will happen. They will turn me out just as fast as they brought me in.

So much time has passed though, and they still want me around? lol...I'm afraid to slip up. After making such unbelievable friends I want to try to earn their friendship more than ever. It's weird how one week you feel so alone, then in a blink of an eye you feel like family. :) Because of these people I am truly happier than I have been in a long time. For that I thank them.

turning a new leaf...

i am in some serious debt i am trying to turn around. these are mostly credit cards, stupid i know. i stayed up all night coming up with a payment plan, a spreadsheet to keep tabs on it, and the all important "cutting of the cards" to make sure i no longer use them. wish me luck ya'll...this is day #1

f*cked up situation

"never trade trust for lust"...just found this song online, and it's crazy how the lyrics remind me of something...that line I began with says it all...

grenade

I bend over backward trying to show affection. I miss you, I love you, and I think of you often. I want to call you up to just see how your day is going and to simply hear your voice. It makes me feel close to you. I don't mind spending what little money I have on you, because you mean that much to me. I may think the gifts themselves are pointless since I have no use for them, but to you they mean something.

All I want in return is to be be loved and shown the same respect. Yet I get nothing...I fucking love flowers, do you hear me? Fucking love them!! How my day will turn around just to have a nice vase of flowers in my dam apartment. It cheers me up and reminds me that you are thinking of me. Instead I hear how pointless they are as a gift.

When I call it's as if you don't want to tie up the line and just get straight to the facts. You ever think I wanna talk to you for the sake of talking? How'd your day go? What ya doin today? How's the family? But no...it's cold, it's "what now?", as if you're not wanting to deal with my call.

Do you know how sad this makes me...how alone I feel...how everyday I think I pretty much have nothing...do you know how much it fucking hurts to love someone so deeply and to feel like nothing but a side note in your life...I would do anything for you...but I know you won't do the same...