Saturday, December 31, 2011

let me see your GRRRR face

I often find I am nicer than my own good. As mentioned I tend to be a pessimist and quite skeptical at times, yet I never second guess people close to me. By close I mean they frequently stop by or ask for things, not necessarily closely bonded with them. I still consider them a friend and would do what I can to help. This also includes my ex husband. Not really friends yet I know these people will be in my life long enough that I better make "nice". Anyway, I bend over backwards for these people time after time. Do I get anything in return? No, I do not expect to and don't care either. However, lashing out at me then expecting the same treatment to continue shouldn't work. It does though. Fuck me over all you want and for some reason I can't find the "mean" in me to tell you off or to even just say no. Maybe I'm too much of  a 'pleaser' seeking approval from those I will never get it from. I just find it rather strange I can't break this cycle when it's so plain to me the truth in it all. I'll sum it up with: what the hell??

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