Thursday, March 29, 2012

ah hell no, whachu say!?

I don't know what it was today. The colder weather, the rising gas prices, or maybe people had a literal stick up their ass. Customers were grouchy as hell. I am use to this by now, so are all the other cashiers, but dam. My day started so fantastic too! I could have practically skipped into work. Of course that doesn't last long...

"are you open on 31?!"

I was not all the way down to red line even and this woman snaps at me. I notice I have a bad habit of this: I looked to the light, looked at my register, and looked back at the woman. This is the "come on lady the clues are all there". It wasn't even the question though, it's the fact she barks in my face. Look lady I don't know who pissed in your cheerios, but it wasn't me.

"of course, I can help you right here"

Later on this woman comes in with what I can imagine are grand kids. They're 4 of them and 1 of her...poor lady didn't stand a chance. She's pretty much begging them not to run around and climb on everything. Then here comes the oldest kid, a 16 year old girl.

"I'm going to the car"
"I'm almost done, stay here please. I need help"
"I don't want to"
"Please stay with the family"
"I'm 16, I'm grown up. I don't have to, and I don't want to!"

She then walks away as this poor woman has the look of 'just shoot me now'. I'll tell you this much, if I wasn't on that side of the counter I would have told her off. How dare you, you pathetic pig faced little arrogant snot. When I was your age I would have had my ass whooped right there and then. Better yet they would have let me walk outside and LEFT MY ASS THERE. You're an adult because you're 16 and think you know it all? 16 ain't shit bitch, me being 23 ain't shit either so I'm not saying I'm all big and bad. Come back to me when you're almost 30 and I might consider you 'grown up'. The most grown up thing you have done so far is pick out your own clothes to wear every morning. Fuck you, you little cunt. I have no tolerance to mouthy ass brats :)

My day continues on...and my sister walks up. She is behind me at the register NOT IN MY LINE thank you very much. She stops to talk to me a minute, ex husband apparently showed up trying to snatch the kid while I was at work, but that's another blog. So yes we are talking, but I still greet people and do my job. I don't stop and turn around to yak and tell customers to wait (I have seen a cashier do this, INSANE). The guy I'm serving has special requests on how stuff should be bagged and I am following it to a T. After talking to him a few moments I start saying something to my sister again.

"Go right ahead, talk all you want. This is real important."
"Excuse me sir?"
"I said go ahead and talk, this must be so important. Please finish"

I'm not sure how to react, but I chatter a minute more with him, then yes back to my sister so she can leave already. Wanted to get that wrapped up and let her get home.

"You know they are watching you. Those cameras see you and know you're talking."

This stops me dead in my order. "Um...yes sir I know they're cameras"

My sister then says she'll call later. The conversation was only a few sentences longer, it would have been quicker if I just finished it instead of stopping for snide comments. I go back to talking to him and he decides he has nothing to say.   -_-

People, people, people...<sigh> I rather don't care for you much...I'm in the wrong line of work.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I pity da fool

After posting a blog a few days ago (reading is for fools sucka) about me not reading before speaking, I vowed I had learned my lesson. No longer would I just go rambling on before reading the details. I would not be like a customer...but today I did even worse than that day.

I figured this out right about the time I was trying to cram a snickers box in a place that was too small for it to fit on the shelf. An oh so friendly co-worker tells me it doesn't go there. With my stupid ass grin I say oh yes it will, I'll make it fit there. He tells me, doesn't go there, that's the peanut butter snickers spot.

That's a whole nother candy bar and box...<sigh> Tag was right there clearly marked. Square peg round hole. Did I mention I'm blond? It was a long day? I was so hyper I wasn't paying attention to anyone or anything? Well running out of excuses...Angie I swear I'll read first (eventually).

Sunday, March 25, 2012

el close-o

I don't know how to be any clearer. The sign "closed" is out in plain sight, my light is turned off, and I am cleaning everything down. Yet some jackass walks up and drops all his stuff down on the belt.

"Can I help you?"

"Just checking out."

<I look up at my light, look to the sign, look at the spray bottle still in my hand>
"Sir I am actually closed."

"Yeah, but I am here now and all my stuff is down."

"I was closed and cleaning before you walked up sir."

"You must just be closing. You can do one more, all the other lines are long."

Hey genius, why are all the others lines full while mine is empty? BECAUSE I AM CLOSED. It is not rocket science here people:
red & blue make purple
light off and sign out means I AM FUCKING CLOSED

My mind is swirling by this time and oh the words I wish I could have spoke out loud. Instead with a grunt I completed his order. I didn't ask how he was since he had so little respect for me. I didn't pack everything all nice and orderly since he showed no consideration as well. I pretty much wanted him to get his shit and get the hell outta my line. Arguing with him would have been pointless, he would have just kept sassing back.

We cashiers are closed and you still expect service? Hey we all have to go home from our jobs sometime. How do you like it when somebody comes by and tells you you're staying extra at work because a moron thinks they are important enough to make you wait?

I'm going to find a mechanic about to clock out for the day and tell him to fix my car. <that rattling noise has been driving me nuts, you can do one more> When I see a McDonald's employee I'm gonna tell her to get her bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me an egg mcmuffin. <lines are too long, I'd rather grab somebody done for the day and make them do it themselves>  A bank teller is getting in her car leaving for the day and I'm gonna tell her to give me $50. <might look like a mugging, I call it "I didn't know she was closed">

Thursday, March 15, 2012

reading is for fools sucka!!!

I can't remember how many times customer would fly off the handle when they thought they had been ripped off. At times literally screaming and ranting about the complete "injustice" of it all. Shame, how could we!? Except we didn't rip you just didn't take the time to read.

This mostly happens when they assume we charged them several times over when you can clearly see the item rung up then the very next time it's on there it's followed by a minus sign. This means one came ON and then one came OFF. Sorry if this math a little too complicated for ya, I'll give an example:

movie $5.00
movie $5.00    <oops, here's our mistake, 2 movies on there instead of 1>
movie $5.00-   <oh look now it's "minus" that extra movie we put on>

Moving on since this is not actually the point of today's blog. I mean honestly I could go on and on complaining about customers failure to read the obvious. This however is about me...and my lack of reading the obvious. I was not even aware of this until a fellow worker mentioned how I was acting like a embarrassing :(

I was working service desk and noticed a rogue receipt. Where did it come from? Who did it belong to? Did we need to keep it? Was it pending? I started out with all these questions and even beyond that when the co-worker said, "did you read it?" I did not. Just for me to see it was an error correct/voided item, total zero, no items...bah it's just trash. That's when I was informed I behaved like a customer LOL.

Reading is for fools sucka, they don't pay me enough to read!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Save the world bags

I know someone had the best of intentions with these things, but sir I would like you punch you in the crotch. Lets face it these are a nightmare to a cashier. They hold much more so they are heavier, okay I can deal. Customers insist you pack it in a particular way that borders OCD, fine I will do it.

The majority of my complaint is when they are not kept clean. I've been in houses being condemned for having less mold than these bags often have. Others have so much cat hair you could probably knit a sweater out of it all. This makes me think most of these people are lonely cat ladies.

You wanna recycle and make the world a cleaner place: start with brushing Mr. Fluffy and actually wash something. You're all a bunch of hippies, dirty dirty hippies. Go home to your 20 cats, your drum circle, and smoke another one...BAH!!!

NOTE: I know some people can use these bags responsibly, there are far too few of you, but thank you :)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

tis the season...

The snow is melting away, the birds are returning, the sun is shining, and people are coming into the store already wearing less and less clothing. My poor eyes had to see everyone finally breaking out the shorts and tanks...people it wasn't pretty. For some it's like riding a bike...others may need assistance.

I'm all for warmer weather and shedding the layers, I partake in it myself. However...<sigh> honestly I just don't wanna see anymore boobs, guts, or cracks...I just don't okay! Don't even get me started on all the muffin tops.

The "oh too small shorts" are shoving the roll up and you decide to wear your "way too short" shirt. People do a mirror check before you step outside please. Say to yourself, "Will this offend anyone, scar them for life, or send children running?". If you say "yes" to any of those you should probably change.

Oh and when your shirt's only purpose it to serve as nipple covers, maybe you should pull it up a little more okay sweetie :) Yes you have tits...we have them too...nothing new there. Who are you trying to impress when you're buying Nacho Doritos and douches? Well then again you probably need all the help you can get.

Men...oh for the love for god it's like you put MORE on as it gets warmer. Mostly speaking this is older men who don't shower as often. It heats up and they are still in layers of sweatshirts and pants. The stench is unholy is what it is.

Which is lesser of the 2 evils, sweaty overdressed men or muffin topped tit flashers? Can I just blind myself now or do I have to be appalled first?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

some times you feel like a nut...

...sometimes you don't. For the people I am about to blog about; you are for sure a flippin nut. One person I watch has proved time and time again that not all learn from their mistakes. I'll be more specific; him "falling head over heels in love" after one day of dating this person and wondering why he gets so hurt in the end. Probably cause you're getting way ahead of yourself. You get about as excited as a porcupine meeting a pineapple before you even know the person.

He knows her because she dated his friend (my ex husband...oh joy)...and after sexting and maybe 48 hours later he decides he loves her. Instantly it's all "I love you baby" and "we'll be happy no matter what, other people can shut up". The only reason people have something to say is because we lost track of how many girls you have "loved" and are watching you do it repeatedly. Then after a week (or less) of dating you split and it's WW3. We suddenly switch from hearing how much you love her, to how much of a whore and waste she is. Next thing you know you're talking your depressed suicide talk.

It's so obvious to us around you, but you have no idea. Fucking stop declaring love because your dick gets hard. Any dime a dozen whore can do this, but you don't see people marrying them left and right (sorry whores need love to, no offense). You need to find a connection, get to know each other, "test the waters" personality wise, and see if you can even be in a room with each other without fighting like territorial cats.

Sorry I've been wanting to use this clip for something LOL. Anyway, stop thinking with your dick and grow up. You obviously just made it into puberty with all your dam emotions/hormones. Bah I say, BAH!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

this isn't a help line nor a comedy club

I write simply because I can. I have feelings, thoughts, and ideas that sometimes just need to spill out. This is a good place to vent, almost my diary of sorts. I don't have to try to be funny and sure as hell I don't need to be a novelist. Sure I try to throw my lame humor in there, it makes ME laugh. That's all I really need this for is me.

Most of this will be bitching, ranting, and I think I could get offensive if I would stop having second thoughts about posts I soon after delete. Even now I am just complaining. Yeah this would be much more entertaining if I tried oh so hard at it. But then again why would I take it so seriously? Am I making a career out of this, am I being judged (maybe I am but it's online, who's gonna know me), am I being graded on this?? If I manage to write some good ones then kudos to me. If others don't find it inspiring, comment worthy, or get a good laugh then too fucking bad.

I find it funny when someone who always says not to take things so seriously is practically pulling their hair out just trying to get something to sound perfect...silly humans :)