cut my life into pieces

I know I don't always make the best choices, I know I am not the smartest person, and I know that at times it's hard to see things from a different point of view. However, one thing I do know is my past. I have always had a hard time dealing with great emotional stress, call it my weakness. Now many of you will not like this...but I would cut to deal. It's not a big secret, I have scars all over my arms. Some faded to the point you won't see them unless you look for them, while others are fresh and people assume I was mauled by a cat -_-

It is a part of me. I won't lie and I won't hide it, it's me. I know a few others like me and we definitely are there to support each other so we eventually don't need to do this anymore. I'm not bragging, seriously, this isn't cool and I know it. BUT, telling me I am stupid for doing it, calling me a dumbass, or trying to argue with me on all the ways it is wrong will only get one result: me pissed. That's like you crying because you are stressed and I tell you you're a big fucking baby and to get the hell over it. Yeah...it is...say it is not even close if you want. If you don't cut you don't get it, you never will.

I have never been rewarded for this behavior, whether someone thinks I have been "pampered" because of it. I have people who flat out refuse to have me in their life because of it, I accept that. Thinking I do this for attention is just asinine. "Look at me I cut myself!" seriously??? Nobody comes running to our rescue, we just ask that when we tell people this is what we do that they don't turn on us like everyone else. We only tell those we love or trust. And to have them judge us...is one of the lowest blows...