Monday, May 28, 2012

grenade

I bend over backward trying to show affection. I miss you, I love you, and I think of you often. I want to call you up to just see how your day is going and to simply hear your voice. It makes me feel close to you. I don't mind spending what little money I have on you, because you mean that much to me. I may think the gifts themselves are pointless since I have no use for them, but to you they mean something.

All I want in return is to be be loved and shown the same respect. Yet I get nothing...I fucking love flowers, do you hear me? Fucking love them!! How my day will turn around just to have a nice vase of flowers in my dam apartment. It cheers me up and reminds me that you are thinking of me. Instead I hear how pointless they are as a gift.

When I call it's as if you don't want to tie up the line and just get straight to the facts. You ever think I wanna talk to you for the sake of talking? How'd your day go? What ya doin today? How's the family? But no...it's cold, it's "what now?", as if you're not wanting to deal with my call.

Do you know how sad this makes me...how alone I feel...how everyday I think I pretty much have nothing...do you know how much it fucking hurts to love someone so deeply and to feel like nothing but a side note in your life...I would do anything for you...but I know you won't do the same...

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