It's funny at times how we can be so certain of what we want until it is right in front of our faces. The opportunity presents itself and what do we do? Freeze up, ignore it, fumble big time. I know this doesn't apply to everyone. Some people are just spunky, grab the bull by the horns. This speaks more to reserved people like me.
Is it that I don't want it? Nah, of course I do. Is it that I am afraid? Possibly, but what is there to be afraid of. Would this be too much change? I doubt it since I don't make drastic changes.often This applies to everything in my life. Once in a lifetime moments come and go. I don't speak up even though I'm shouting inside. "It would be awesome and worth it, just go for it!!!" yet I do nothing. Back to my usual drudgery. You know is that even a word? It just came to me, but moving on.
What separates us that are not willing and those who take the leap? I tried explaining my own insecurities to a friend the other night. I went back to read the argument only to end up agreeing with him. *yes i agree with you, don't rub it in* What I had said did not make sense to me even. So I had to read it again.
These insecurities are apparently just made up it seems. When it boils down I do like me, so why hold myself back? The only thing I can think of is it gives me attention, usual a lot too. So...is this self realization gonna change my life? LOL no...I see it, I know it's there, and yet I most likely won't change a thing. I still don't get that, but it is what it is.
*if you expect anything thought provoking or entertaining out of this blog: it is more for myself as a journal. It's helping me deal with a lot going on right now*