people watching...it's what I do

The last post was very rushed and in no way something I deem good writing. It was more of a impulsive bitch fest since I was so sick and upset. Still sick mind you, but not near as dramatic about it. Anyway, I was gonna say something on people watching.

I was always quiet growing up, very shy, would rather hide than stand out. Doing this kinda makes you an outsider yet at the same time you learn to know people very well. I would sit by myself and just watch everyone else, making little observations here and there. Call me an eavesdropper, but if they didn't want it known they should have talked quieter. :)

I stopped doing this after a while. I wanted to actually be considered part of the group and so I started to join in. Now years later I find myself back at the first stage. I like to just sit back and watch the train wrecks that unfold day after day...at work. I truly believe it was work that led me back to my people watching ways. I cannot say what's on my mind, only smile and nod. So I just pay extra attention now.

I watch as the younger woman scolds her elderly mother who just wants to help and be of some use. She's 80 some odd years old and in a wheelchair and is still trying to throw stuff up there. Instead her daughter yells at her, tells her she's gonna leave her home next time. You can actually see the old woman's life slowly seep from her. This must be one of the few things she gets to do let along going out anymore...and she's told to just sit there quietly. The woman then complains how much of a burden she is and how she won't be taking her out again.

All I could do for the rest of the order was stare at the old woman. She still had life...she wanted to use it anyway she could. Even now I can still feel her sadness. What an age we live in where we are told simply to lay down and die...quietly so not to disturb the others.

If I had the option of bitching this woman out I would have. It's rare for me to genuinely feel sorry for someone to the point it makes me go home and cry. Do me a favor, when I turn 80 just shoot me...