Wednesday, January 18, 2012

TELL ME IT ISNT SO - 1/18/2012 RIP

I just got the call that my paternal grandmother (G'ma Schultz) has passed away. It was apparently around 3am this morning, at my aunt Linda's in Titus Alabama. I wish I had said so many things to her before she left, but of course you always figure there's next time. I was very close to her, more than most of my family or friends. People saw her as the grumpy one at times, she always seemed to disapprove. Although she did have some harsh things to say at times, it was to make us better and only because she cared. She did not tend to show emotion much. But I loved her more than I can express.

We'd all hop on out bikes as kids and ride to the end of the street. That was where my grandparents were my whole childhood. Just down the street, being little distance we got to see them often and spent so much time at their place. My family even went on vacation and for that week I wanted to instead stay with them, just me. This helped make me even closer to her.

I am still crying so bear with me if this doesn't come out right or it is me just rambling on. She always had a candy dish of lemonheads that I would sneak into as soon as I got there. At a certain point she caught on and would just hand me the dish and ask if I wanted more. She always had a batch of homemade cookies or donuts waiting for us. I loved her walnut cookies. We would sit in the basement with her and crack the walnuts by hand. These were the walnuts we collected by hand from the trees out back with her.

Typical grandma always having sweets lined up for us. Her zucchini bread was even more amazing than her cookies, of course with walnuts in it. And don't even get me started on Thanksgiving. I know everyone thinks their grandma makes the best gravy, but MINE TOTALLY DOES. I would love the holiday with her. She spent hours and hours on a feast. Her potatoes and gravy were the best part of the whole meal. I always wanted to learn how to make her gravy. Mine never turned out like hers. Now I will never know how.

She did get to meet my daughter though. She only saw her a few times which saddens me. But Kaitlyn really liked grandma without even knowing her much. She always wanted to run up to her and chat away. My thoughts are randomly going to jump around, I'm typing as I'm thinking.

I remember watching I Love Lucy with her. She got me started on the classic old black and white shows. I would sit with her for hours watching reruns over and over. I loved this time we had even if I knew every line to the episode we were watching.

I remember, a clock with a rose sealed in a glass case above it. How I always wanted to play with this. The rose petals would light up and play music as it spun around. She always hated me touching it, thought I would break it since it was a gift from a dear friend. I understood and so I took very good care not to be reckless. Still now I can picture it in my head, almost like a dream. I can smell her baking cookies, I'm laying on that fuzzy old brown carpet between the living room and kitchen, watching this clock that I set on the floor right in front of my face.

I miss you grandma, I always have and always will. May you find peace and be in a better place. I love so so much...oh so very much...

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