Saturday, January 28, 2012

do what ya gotta do

I know what I have to do. I lost the closet person to me just because I held onto the past. I know it is sad to say that chapter is ended and I am moving on, but I have too. I was so afraid to before and did not want to hurt anyone. I am hurting those closest by holding on though. I have to admit it to myself: that chapter is gone, I am getting a divorce. My husband and I are not working on things again, it is best if we just remain civil for our daughter. I still love him dearly and will for quite some time if not as long as I live. But I also love the new man in my life, and hurting him has been one of the worst things I have selfishly done.

I wish I could take many things back, but this actually has taught me I need to grow up. Telling people what they want to hear does not make any progress. The truth hurts, but at times it has to be done. I will have to live with how people feel, how they see me, and the consequences of my actions. If they accept me, then I am glad to have them in my life. If they do not, then they will be missed but I have to move on with my life. Sometimes you just have to do what ya gotta do...

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